Hannah Simone

I find there's this weird anger thing: Someone will approach me at the bar and say, 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' And I'll say, 'No, I'm okay.' And then all of a sudden, there's this male anger flip, where they go, 'Oh, you know what? I wasn't even gonna buy you a drink, 'cause you're not even that cute anyway,' and walk away.

That's so romantic, to wake up and find that he's packed a bag - and that for the next 48 hours, everything is taken care of.

I went to Coachella once, and it was only to go see Leonard Cohen. I got in the car and sat through all the crazy traffic in L.A. to get there - instead of a two hour drive, it takes, like, six hours. Then I watched his set and turned around and left. I just so wanted to see him perform in the desert.

I guess there are all these women with a big secret - they're hiding men they are ashamed of. They come up to me and say: 'I've been dating this guy for six months in secret but none of my friends know. I can't give him up even though he's embarrassing.'

The thing about dating someone who listens to a totally different genre than you is they can help you find things to appreciate in that genre.

My mom used to call me a parrot, because the way I spoke would change in every country we'd go to.

You can spend the day at work, but when you go home, and you're in the role of a father or a husband, you don't have to remind yourself that you shouldn't tell your wife to hold the messages. If you do, that marriage is not going to last very long.

If I could travel back in time, I'd bring back the entire Wu-Tang Clan.

It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to acknowledge Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, just because it has to be able to play forever.

It is so cool to think that there are two female, Indian actresses on prime-time American network television who are considered attractive and funny and smart.

All of my relationships have happened organically with people who are super cool and in my life and it just moved into a relationship zone.