Chuck Palahniuk

In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor.

No, we love war.War. Starvation. Plague. They fast-track us to enlightenment.__t's the mark of a very, very young soul,_ Mr. Whittier used to say, __o try and fix the world. To try and save anyone from their ration of misery.__e have always loved war. We are born knowing that war is why we're here. And we love disease. Cancer. We love earthquakes. In this amusement-park fun house we call the planet earth, Mr. Whittier says we adore forest fires. Oil spills. Serial killers.

No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.

If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.

Ideas come at any moment -- except when you demand them. Most ideas come while I'm physically active, at the gym, with friends, gardening, so I always carry pen and paper.My first draft is always written in longhand. But once the first dozen chapters, more like short stories, are written, then momentum builds until I can't leave the project until it's done.

I am nothing, and not even that.

Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you.

After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.

The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.

I was tired and crazy and rushed, and every time I boarded a plane, I wanted the plane to crash. I envied people dying of cancer. I hated my life. I was tired and bored with my job and my furniture, and I couldn__ see any way to change things.Only end them.

Everyone wants to feel special - attain a special status among their pears- but not too special. Most kids want to be special the same way their friends are

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot?

On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.

We are God's middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.

You can spend your whole life building a wall of facts between you and anything real.

Only two guys to a fight. One fight at a time. They fight without shirts or shoes. The fights go on as long as they have to. Those are the other rules of fight club.

What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.