Chris Rock

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

You got a gun, you don't have to work out.