Brandi Glanville

No matter how old you are, there__ no cozier feeling than to have your mom take care of you.

And finally, always remember that the other person started it.

Sure, occasionally a certain sappy song or romantic movie would come on, and you__ wonder what he or she was up to, but there was no way to know. Of course, you could always pick up the phone (and more recently, text or e-mail), but that would require that person__ knowing you were thinking of him or her. Where__ the fun in that? You never want them to know you__e thinking of them, so you refrain. Before long the memories start to fade. One day, you realize you can__ quite remember how she smelled or the exact color of his eyes. Eventually, without ever knowing it, you just forget that person altogether. You replace old memories with new ones, and life goes on. It was the clean break you needed to move forward.

The moral of the story couldn__ be clearer: you already know if your partner is fucking around behind your back, you just need to decide if you__e done being a doormat. You need to wake up one morning and decide that those rose-colored glasses are so last fucking season.

The most surprising thing about breaking up is that you already know how to do it. Everything you need to know, you learned in kindergarten. Yours should always be better than his (especially when it comes to lawyers).

I had stopped doing anything for myself. I no longer felt like an individual because for thirteen years, I was one-half of a __e.

...if you discover your partner is cheating, drink like it__ your last party, blame everyone else for your problems, let __inging_ be your new favorite hobby, and, by all means, FUCKING PANIC.

I'm supposed to eat shit with a fork and a knife and say thank you when I'm done swallowing this crap?

It__ actually quite the contrary. It__ time to freak the fuck out, and that__ not just acceptable, it__ obligatory. The rug has just been pulled out from beneath your feet, and everything you thought you knew with absolute certainty has vanished. Absolute hysteria is just the beginning__ou__e about to embark on an entire roller coaster of crazy-ass emotions.