Bill Watterson

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Genius is never understood in its own time.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid.