Ann Coulter

For most Americans, our most precious possession is citizenship in this amazing country.

I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it. You know who else was kind of "divisive" in terms of challenging the status quo and the powers-that-be of his day? Jesus Christ.

Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a middle-of-the-road moderate and the rest of you are crazy.

The Democratic Party supports criminals and Islamic terrorists but has no sympathy for taxpayers.

We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.

Democrats see our voluntary military supported by taxpayer dollars as their personal Salvation Army. Self-interested behavior, such as deploying troops to serve the nation, is considered boorish in Manhattan salons.

Taxes are like abortion, and not just because both are grotesque procedures supported by Democrats. You're for them or against them. Taxes go up or down; government raises taxes or lowers them. But Democrats will not let the words 'abortion' or 'tax hikes' pass their lips.

Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.

When we were at peace, Democrats wanted to raise taxes. Now there's a war, so Democrats want to raise taxes. When there was a surplus, Democrats wanted to raise taxes. Now that there is a mild recession, Democrats want to raise taxes.

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war.

There's nothing good about diversity, other than the food, and we don't need 128 million Mexicans for the restaurants.

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

We know who the homicidal maniacs are. They are the ones cheering and dancing right now.

It__ often said that those who are unduly bothered by gays are latent homosexuals. Isn__ it possible that people obsessed with racism are themselves racist.