I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. And too much of a coward to live
I could have forced myself to adapt," said Taads. "In this world the individual self is of such importance that it is allowed to become absorbed in itself and to grub around in its trivial personal history for years on end with the help of a psychiatrist, so as to be able to cope. But I don't think that is important enough. And then suicide is no longer a disgrace. If I had done it earlier, I would have done it in hatred, but that is no longer the case.""Hatred?""I used to hate the world. People, smells, dogs, feet, telephones, newspapers, voices _ everything filled me with the greatest disgust. I have always been afraid I might murder somebody. Suicide is when you have been all around the world with your fear and your aggression and you end up by yourself again.""It remains aggression.""Not necessarily.""What are you waiting for then?""For the right moment. The time has not yet come." He said it amiably, as if he were talking to a child.
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I could have forced myself to adapt," said Taads. "In this world the individual self is of such importance that it is allowed to become absorbed in itself and to grub around in its trivial personal history for years on end with the help of a psychiatrist, so as to be able to cope. But I don't think that is important enough. And then suicide is no longer a disgrace. If I had done it earlier, I would have done it in hatred, but that is no longer the case.""Hatred?""I used to hate the world. People, smells, dogs, feet, telephones, newspapers, voices _ everything filled me with the greatest disgust. I have always been afraid I might murder somebody. Suicide is when you have been all around the world with your fear and your aggression and you end up by yourself again.""It remains aggression.""Not necessarily.""What are you waiting for then?""For the right moment. The time has not yet come." He said it amiably, as if he were talking to a child.
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Mama, I know you used to ride the bus. Riding the bus and it__ hot and bumpy and crowded and too noisy and more than anything in the world you want to get off and the only reason in the world you don__ get off is it__ still fifty blocks from where you__e going? Well, I can get off right now if I want to, because even if I ride fifty more years and get off then, it__ the same place when I step down to it. Whenever I feel like it, I can get off. As soon as I__e had enough, it__ my stop. I__e had enough.
I realize how depraved it was to instill false guilt in an innocent child's conscience, causing a distorted image of life, God, & self, leaving little if any feeling of personal worth.
Oh no!_ replies Monsieur Tuvache indignantly. __e__e not murderers, you know. You have to understand that__ prohibited. We supply what is needed but people do the deed themselves. It__ their affair. We are just here to offer a service by selling quality products,_ continues the shopkeeper, leading the customer towards the checkout.
sometimes life isn__ worth the pain. i__ going for a swim. goodbye, my love.
The walls of the cell fell away, the sky came down, I saw the big yellow bird.