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We__e so self-important. Everybody__ going to save something now. __ave the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails._ And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet, we don__ even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I__ tired of this shit. I__ tired of f-ing Earth Day. I__ tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is that there aren__ enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don__ give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don__. You know what they__e interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They__e worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn__ impress me.The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles _ hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages _ And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn__ going anywhere. WE are!We__e going away. Pack your shit, folks. We__e going away. And we won__ leave much of a trace, either. Maybe a little Styrofoam _ The planet__l be here and we__l be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet__l shake us off like a bad case of fleas.The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we__e gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, __ause that__ what it does. It__ a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it__ true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn__ share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn__ know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, __hy are we here?_ Plastic_ asshole.