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I understand you.__ou do not suppose that I have ever felt much.__or four months, Marianne, I have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least._ It was told me,__t was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as I thought, with triumph._ This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested;__nd it has not been only once;__ have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again._ I have known myself to be divided from Edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection.__othing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me._ I have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages._ And all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness._ If you can think me capable of ever feeling__urely you may suppose that I have suffered NOW. The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that I have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion;__hey did not spring up of themselves;__hey did not occur to relieve my spirits at first._ No, Marianne.__HEN, if I had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely__ot even what I owed to my dearest friends__rom openly shewing that I was VERY unhappy.