When life is a horror....Don't look like a ghost!
I have to figure out why I worked at a job I hated for years. I have to find out why I can__ see what everyone else sees in me. I don__ feel beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I never saw beautiful. For this to happen to someone like me, it__ devastating, Jonas. I don__ want you to think it__ vanity, it isn__. I can__ see me and I need to be able to do that. I need to find out what I__ like and what I want. I have to be comfortable in my own skin before I can be in a relationship the way you want.
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I have to figure out why I worked at a job I hated for years. I have to find out why I can__ see what everyone else sees in me. I don__ feel beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I never saw beautiful. For this to happen to someone like me, it__ devastating, Jonas. I don__ want you to think it__ vanity, it isn__. I can__ see me and I need to be able to do that. I need to find out what I__ like and what I want. I have to be comfortable in my own skin before I can be in a relationship the way you want.
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You know what I love? The spaces between I love you. The tap of your fork against the plate and how my cup of wine clicks against our table. The scratchy voice coming from the radio in the other room. The quiet sound of your hand reaching across the table and whispering over mine. How your voice sounds like your mouth on the back of my neck. The soft murmur of our easy conversation.Between these quiet Tuesday night routines, following every comma and right after every pause for breath, is I, love, and you. In the middle of every I love you is a sink full of dishes, whisper of socked feet tangled in white sheets, and gentle kisses against curved cheeks. We lyric ourselves into the laundry that needs to be finished, into the ends of every smile that follows me repeating your name. We write ourselves into the grocery bags we need to carry, the cracks running up our rented walls, the sides of the bed we choose to drag up the sails of heavy eyed dreams.Like the spaces between our fingers, in the spaces between I, love, and you, we wait.The in-betweens have always been my favorite.
And me, standing under the splintered night, catching fractured glimpses into the black behind the black, hearing the prayers of stars, the angry whispers of the dark summer night.Its voice cracks,on your name.My eyes close,on your name.
Focus. She__ Maddie. Your friend. Would you eyeball Keith or Dane__ butt like that? ~ Zach