Hitting bottom is an inside job _ it's something that happens within our consciousness.
When she walks in that first Monday, of course I am awake - I am always up these days - I decide to lay it down. __ook_, I say, __ snort Ritalin. That__ what I do. I snort it all day long. I crush up the pills and inhale them like cocaine. I__ up to about forty a day. I can__ stop. I am planning to get help, to check into rehab or something like that, as soon as this book is finished. In the meantime, I can__ stop, and I am not going to._ She looks at me impassively. __ don__ care what you think about it. So you have a choice. I can sit here and do it in front of you, or I can keep running into the bathroom so you don__ have to see. Either way, it__ going to happen, so it__ just about how bad it__ going to make you feel to watch.__he doesn__ seem to know what to say. She stares. I think she is going to cry. I think she wants to give me a hug, maybe, but there is an invisible cage, a delicate netting of glass, an ice sculpture surrounding me that no one can walk through. I__ cold. I__e frozen into someone who just can__ be touched. I dare you to try.
More, Now, Again: A Memoir of Addiction
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When she walks in that first Monday, of course I am awake - I am always up these days - I decide to lay it down. __ook_, I say, __ snort Ritalin. That__ what I do. I snort it all day long. I crush up the pills and inhale them like cocaine. I__ up to about forty a day. I can__ stop. I am planning to get help, to check into rehab or something like that, as soon as this book is finished. In the meantime, I can__ stop, and I am not going to._ She looks at me impassively. __ don__ care what you think about it. So you have a choice. I can sit here and do it in front of you, or I can keep running into the bathroom so you don__ have to see. Either way, it__ going to happen, so it__ just about how bad it__ going to make you feel to watch.__he doesn__ seem to know what to say. She stares. I think she is going to cry. I think she wants to give me a hug, maybe, but there is an invisible cage, a delicate netting of glass, an ice sculpture surrounding me that no one can walk through. I__ cold. I__e frozen into someone who just can__ be touched. I dare you to try.
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