waiting

After you find out all the things that can go wrong, you life becomes less about living and more about waiting. For cancer. For dementia. Every look in a mirror, you scan for the red rash that means shingles. See also: Ringworm. See also: Lyme disease, meningitis, rheumatic fever, syphilis.

For six months I did what women do: I waited. This is what women are taught to be good at. It's said that a woman's life is merely preparation for the primal nine-month wait. Whatever the reason, they do it well. Sometimes they drink or bite their fingernails down to the wrist. They count stars and initials and wait: for something to happen, for something to pass, to change, to begin, to end.

Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible

Soon," he said in his letter. They said "soon" to each other often, and "soon" gave their plan the weight of something real.

We will wait. We will wait till all is made righteous (glorious) according to the word of God.

But an intelligent man like you would know that to live in an unrealistic hope is a very foolish way to spend a life." - Lena Gray

I want no blood from you--not until we're both sweaty and naked and you're screaming my name.

So where do you go? Back to the bottle And back to a tiny room somewhere. And wait. And wait, and wait. That's all.

What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.

Wait on the Lord" is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come.

How can we who are so weak in ourselves, so inferior in power to the enemies confronting us, bear up under our trials which are so numerous, so protracted, so crushing? We could not, and therefore Divine grace has provided for us an all-sufficient Helper. Without His aid we had long since succumbed, mastered by our trials. Hope looks forward to the Glory to come; in the weary interval of waiting, the Spirit supports our poor hearts and keeps grace alive within us.

But sometimes you have to wait for an answer to come to you. Especially when the questions are difficult ones.

Sometimes waiting and being disappointed was good, to remind me he didn't belong to me. Nothing belonged to me.

What__ up, Sam?___hat birthday?_ he panted.__hat?___hat birthday, Anna?__t took a while for her to absorb his fear. It took a while for the reason for his fear to dawn on her.__ifteen,_ Anna said in a whisper.__hat__ the matter?_ Emma asked, sensing her twin__ mood. __t doesn__ mean anything.___t doesn__,_ Anna whispered.__ou__e probably right,_ Sam said.__h, my God,_ Anna said. __re we going to disappear?___hen were you born?_ Sam asked. __hat time of day?__he twins exchanged scared looks. __e don__ know.___ou know what, no one has blinked out since that first day, so it__ probably___mma disappeared.Anna screamed.The other older kids took notice, the littles, too.__h, my God!_ Anna cried. __mma. Emma. Oh, God!__he grabbed Sam__ hands and he held her tight.The prees, some of them, caught the fear. Mother Mary came over. __hat__ going on? You__e scaring the kids. Where__ Emma?__nna just kept saying, __h, my God,_ and calling her sister__ name.__here__ Emma?_ Mary demanded again. __hat__ going on?__am didn__ want to explain. Anna was hurting him with the pressure of her fingers digging into the backs of his hands. Anna__ eyes were huge, staring holes in him.__ow far apart were you born?_ Sam asked.Anna just stared in blank horror.Sam lowered his voice to an urgent whisper. __ow far apart were you born, Anna?___ix minutes,_ she whispered.__old my hands, Sam,_ she said.__on__ let me go, Sam,_ she said.__ won__, Anna, I won__ let you go,_ Sam said.__hat__ going to happen, Sam?___ don__ know, Anna.___ill we go to where our mom and dad are?___ don__ know, Anna."__m I going to die?___o, Anna. You__e not going to die.___on__ let go of me, Sam.__ary was there now, a baby on her hip. John was there. The prees, some of them, watched with serious, worried looks on their faces.__ don__ want to die,_ Anna repeated. ___I don__ know what it__ like.___t__ okay, Anna.__nna smiled. __hat was a nice date. When we went out.___t was.__or a split second it was like Anna blurred. Too fast to be real. She blurred, and Sam could almost swear that she had smiled at him.And his fingers squeezed on nothing.For a terribly long time no one moved or said anything.The littles didn__ cry out. The older kids just stared.Sam__ fingertips still remembered the feel of Anna__ hands. He stared at the place where her face had been. He could still see her pleading eyes.Unable to stop himself, he reached a hand into the space she had occupied. Reaching for a face that was no longer there.Someone sobbed.Someone cried out, other voices then, the prees started crying.Sam felt sick. When his teacher had disappeared he hadn__ been expecting it. This time he had seen it coming, like a monster in a slow-motion nightmare. This time he had seen it coming, like standing rooted on the railroad tracks, unable to jump aside.

When I was little and running on the race track at school, I always stopped and waited for all the other kids so we could run together even though I knew (and everybody else knew) that I could run much faster than all of them! I pretended to read slowly so I could "wait" for everyone else who couldn't read as fast as I could! When my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad I pretended to be unhappy. I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people. And the only thing that I've ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me "Cinderella is a perfect example to be" but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I'm not waiting for anybody, anymore! I'm going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I'm not waiting for you anymore.

In the end, the train stood 2 hours motionless in the middle of nowhere.Every minute seemed like an eternity.Time felt crept by slowly, with clear malice towards me. All I could do was grip my teeth and try to hold back my tears...Akari... Please, don't wait for me...If you'd just go home.

Don't anticipate for a promise, let it be an unexpected favour, this will increase your power of independence.

Whenever a river reaches the ocean, it waits to go back..