truth-about-abuse

Why Is It So Important to Remember?When you were abused, those around you acted as if it weren__ happening. Since no one else acknowledged the abuse, you sometimes felt that it wasn__ real. Because of this you felt confused. You couldn__ trust your own experience and perceptions. Moreover, others_ denial led you to suppress your memories, thus further obscuring the issue.You can end your own denial by remembering. Allowing yourself to remember is a way of confirming in your own mind that you didn__ just imagine it. Because the person who abused you did not acknowledge your pain, you may have also thought that perhaps it wasn__ as bad as you felt it was. In order to acknowledge to yourself that it really was that bad, you need to remember as much detail as possible. Because by denying what happened to you, you are doing to yourself exactly what others have done to you in the past: You are negating and denying yourself.

The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I__ not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I__ not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that__ not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I__ a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.