self-reflection

I love him in ways that I can__ explain to other people. They don__ understand_ it__ not their fault.

I want you to trust yourself, baby. Love is all that matters and you__e always known that. You__e known, since you were a very little girl, what your life is meant to be about_

Everything hurts right now and nothing is helping because as the pain is getting worse _ so is the love.

I know that this process of __e changing my life_ doesn__ just end once I set fire to this list of things I hate about myself. Tonight isn__ as much of a new beginning as it is a violent end and I know the real work hasn__ even started yet.

I feel a resurgence of my 6-year-old self_ that little warrior, goddess of a girl reminding me of who I was when I was little, before the world got its hands on me.

I__ going to follow this invisible red thread until I find myself again_ until I finally figure out_ who I__ meant to be.

Please_ Whoever you are, whatever you are_ I believe in you even though I don__ completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I can__ exactly describe what I__ feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that you__e there and I__ humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me, it__ yours _ just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control, and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days.

I__e always seen this in you, ever since you were a little girl _ this hunger to love other people into their highest selves and it__ what has made me irreversibly and just so forever in love with you.

I__e grown up defined by this desperate, undeniable, __an__ breathe_ kind of space inside of myself and I__ afraid that the diagnosis is fatal.

Something, somewhere, knows what__ best for me and promises to keep sending me people and experiences to light my way as long as I live in gratitude and keep paying attention to the signs.

I fantasize the night sky to be like a cosmic blue print of my life as I close my eyes and unbutton my heart_. just in case anyone up there is listening.

Does our purpose on Earth directly link to the people whom we end up meeting? Are our relationships and experiences actually the required dots that connect and then lead us to our ultimate destinies?

I look out into the water and up deep into the stars. I beg the sparkling lanterns of light to cure me of myself _ my past and the kaleidoscope of mistakes, failures and wrong turns that have stacked unbearable regret upon my shoulders.

Let this time in your life cut you open and drain all of the things that are holding you back. I__ going to help you forgive the things that you won__ let yourself forget.

I want to be the best version of myself for anyone who is going to someday walk into my life and need someone to love them beyond reason.

For so many years, I couldn__ understand why every time I thought that someone finally loved me, like_ for real, they would eventually turn to vapor. Every person whom I__e ever loved is trapped inside of my chest. I__e breathed all of them in so deeply that I__e nearly choked and died on every soul that I__e ever given myself to.

I met a boy whose eyes showed me that the past, present and future were all the same thing.

Writing is a blurred mirror. Sometimes we work harder to see how we are reflected, but often we avert our gaze from the shadowy image.