satire

If the sale of flesh could be made as easily as the sale of spiritual exemption, the prescience of a dedicated businessman might be well preserved.

Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.

But that's men all over ... Poor dears, they can't help it. They haven't got logical minds.

Ah, I believe Schacht. Only too willingly; that__ to say, I think what he says is absolutely true, for the world is incomprehensibly crass, tyrannical, moody, and cruel to sickly and sensitive people. Well, Schacht will stay here for the time being. We laughed at him a bit, when he arrived, that can__ be helped either, Schacht is young and after all can__ be allowed to think there are special degrees, advantages, methods, and considerations for him. He has now had his first disappointment, and I__ convinced that he__l have twenty disappointments, one after the other. Life with its savage laws is in any case for certain people a succession of discouragements and terrifying bad impressions. People like Schacht are born to feel and suffer a continuous sense of aversion. He would like to admit and welcome things, but he just can__. Hardness and lack of compassion strike him with tenfold force, he just feels them more acutely. Poor Schacht. He__ a child and he should be able to revel in melodies and bed himself in kind, soft, carefree things. For him there should be secret splashings and birdsong. Pale and delicate evening clouds should waft him away in the kingdom of Ah, What__ Happening to Me? His hands are made for light gestures, not for work. Before him breezes should blow, and behind him sweet, friendly voices should be whispering. His eyes should be allowed to remain blissfully closed, and Schacht should be allowed to go quietly to sleep again, after being wakened in the morning in the warm, sensuous cushions. For him there is, at root, no proper activity, for every activity is for him, the way he is, improper, unnatural, and unsuitable. Compared with Schacht I__ the trueblue rawboned laborer. Ah, he__l be crushed, and one day he__l die in a hospital. or he__l perish, ruined in body and soul, inside one of our modern prisons.

Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.

Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.

Sophia shrieked and fainted on the ground _ I screamed and instantly ran mad. We remained thus mutually deprived of our senses, some minutes, and on regaining them were deprived of them again. For an Hour and a Quarter did we continue in this unfortunate situation _ Sophia fainting every moment and I running mad as often. At length a groan from the hapless Edward (who alone retained any share of life) restored us to ourselves.

Dear Eloisa (said I) there__ no occasion for your crying so much about such a trifle. (for I was willing to make light of it in order to comfort her) I beg you would not mind it _ You see it does not vex me in the least; though perhaps I may suffer most from it after all; for I shall not only be obliged to eat up all the Victuals I have dressed already, but must if Henry should recover (which however is not very likely) dress as much for you again; or should he die (as I suppose he will) I shall still have to prepare a Dinner for you whenever you marry any one else. So you see that tho perhaps for the present it may afflict you to think of Henry__ sufferings, yet I dare say he__l die soon and then his pain will be over and you will be easy, whereas my Trouble will last much longer for work as hard as I may, I am certain that the pantry cannot be cleared in less than a fortnight

The real satire starts when I__ shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked.

Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.

In some rare cases, a friendship between two people benefits both of them, and what__ more, in some rarer cases, it benefits both of them equally.

More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.

Really, I protest--what is left for the satirical mind to invent when reality so surpasses it?

People said there had to be a Supreme Being because otherwise how could the universe exist, eh?And of course there clearly had to be, said Koomi, a Supreme Being. But since the universe was a bit of a mess, it was obvious that the Supreme Being hadn't in fact made it. If he had made it he would, being Supreme, have made a better job of it, with far better thought given, taking an example at random, to things like the design of the common nostril. Or, to put it another way, the existence of a badly put-together watch proved the existence of a blind watchmaker. You only had to look around to see that there was room for improvement practically everywhere. This suggested that the Universe had probably been put together in a bit of a rush by an underling while the Supreme Being wasn't looking, in the same way that Boy Scouts' Association minutes are done on office photocopiers all over the country.So, reasoned Koomi, it was not a good idea to address any prayers to a Supreme Being. It would only attract his attention and might cause trouble.

While pensive poets painful vigils keep,Sleepless themselves, to give their readers sleep.

It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life__f that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.

the whole of Victorian literature done up in grey paper & neatly tied with string

To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.