romance-funny

Maybe I shouldn't scare off my date so quickly by shooting guns and telling stories about vomit, but, hey, the sooner he knows the real me, the better.

Did you want to change into something more comfortable?_ Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts.I smack his knee. __'m comfortable, but I know you're not._ He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies.__ou're right,_ he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad?Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now.He smirks. __ou know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this._ He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest.I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, __f I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.___o if I'm not wearing clothes..._ I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. __ust remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.

Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?"Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh. "Chicks Dig me? And Sponge Bob boxers?""Chicks do dig me! And Sponge Bob is a great cartoon in your world.

Two days after my dad's funeral, my mom went on a mission. I never understood it until then--that sometimes a spy doesn't need a cover so much as she needs a shield.

Late twenties, single, female. Do the math.Flirty flings were fabulous until you hit the big three-O, all downhillfrom there. Biological clocks started ticking like time bombs waiting todetonate, gravity exerted more force on your life than your mom, andsuddenly, the dog-ugliest creep looked like Jake Gyllenhaal.

I always thought 'love at first sight' was silly and incredibly irresponsible. Then, you came along and you flipped it on me. I understand it now. I do! ~Sheriff Derrick Decker

I__e never heard a girl say a diamond was too big.___ just think when they get too big they look fake._ He leans down. __ say the same thing about breasts.

Derrick, you have to make the air move out of her tummy. You are not assaulting her. You're saving her from a stomach ache. ~Anne Howard

He dropped his head and kissed her. He kissed her and it was a kiss of utter certainty, the kind of kiss during which monarchs die and whole continents fall without your even noticing. When Jess extricated herself, it was only because she didn't want the children to see her lose the ability to stand.

I think sometimes the stars align whether we want them to or not. And we're drawn to certain people and places for no other reason than...Destiny.