negotiation

You can only end a negotiation for peace if you begin it.

More and more couples are having this negotiation or discussion, but I'm still amazed at the number who aren't and where the cultural norm sort of kicks in and they just assume that mom's got to be the one who stays home, not dad.

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation.

World War I was not inevitable, as many historians say. It could have been avoided, and it was a diplomatically botched negotiation.

In a negotiation, we must find a solution that pleases everyone, because no one accepts that they must lose and that the other must win... Both must win!

In a negotiation, we must find a solution that pleases everyone, because no one accepts that they MUST lose and that the other MUST win_ Both MUST win!

He could follow someone__ mind around, and get where it was going before the other fellow knew where it was going.

The most important thing a man has to tell you is what he__ not telling you,_ he said. __he most important thing he has to say is what he__ trying not to say.

Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week.

One sticking point was that Jobs wanted his payout to be in cash. Amelio insisted that he needed to "have skin in the game" and take the payout in stock that he would agree to hold for at least a year.

The thing about negotiations, not to mention the manipulation, is you can't go too far in any direction. Refusing once is good, twice is usually okay but a third is risky. You never know when the third person will stop playing and you end up with nothing.

As long as people are talking instead of fighting, nobody loses very much blood__nless he happens to bite his tongue.

Where two principles really do meet which cannot be reconciled with one another, then each man declares the other a fool and a heretic

Just being nice is not a winning strategy. Nice sends a message that the woman is willing to sacrifice pay to be liked by others. This is why a woman needs to combine niceness with insistence, a style that Mary sue Coleman, president of the University of Michigan, calls "relentlessly pleasant." This method requires smiling frequently, expressing appreciation and concern, invoking common interests, emphasizing larger goals, and approaching the negotiation as solving a problem as opposed to taking a critical stance. Most negotiations involve drawn-out, successive moves, so women need to stay focused... and smile.No wonder women don't negotiate as much as men. It's like trying to cross a minefield backward in high heels. So what should we do? Should we play by the rules that others created? Should we figure out a way to put on a friendly expression while not being too nice, displaying the right levels of loyalty and using "we" language? I understand the paradox of advising women to change the world by adhering to biased rules and expectations. I know it is not a perfect answer but a means to a desirable end. It is also true, as any good negotiator knows, that having a better understanding of the other side leads to a superior outcome. So at the very least, women can enter these negotiations with the knowledge that showing concern for the common good, even as they negotiate for themselves, will strengthen their position.

Diplomacy "was like a card game. The difference was that you never really knew the value of the cards in your own hand.

Fatigue could be the dealmaker's friend.

One sticking point was that Jobs wanted his payout to be in cash. Amelio insisted that he needed to "have skin in the game" and take the payout in stock that he would agree to hold for at least a year._ Jobs resisted. Finally, they compromised: Jobs would take $120 million in cash and $37 million in stock, and he pledged to hold the stock for at least six months.

We're fascinated by the words--but where we meet is in the silence behind them.