finding-yourself

You said you knew the perfect place to run to. A place that was empty of people, and buildings, and far, far away. A place covered in blood-red earth and sleeping life. A place longing to come alive again. It's a place for disappearing, you'd said, a place for getting lost... and for getting found.I'll take you there, you'd said.And I could say that I agreed.

But, despite everything, it was almost a pleasure to suffer those torments. I had crawled through life blindly and dully for so long, my heart had kept silent and had sat, impoverished, in a corner for so long, that even these self accusations, this horror, this whole ghastly emotion in my soul was welcome. After all, it was an emotion, flames were still rising, it showed that my heart was still alive! In a confused way, in the midst of misery I felt something like liberation and springtime.

But there was a difference between being stuck and choosing to stay. Between being found and finding yourself.

Everything is music for the born musician.

Have you ever truly, keenly felt like you don't know who you are? Do you ever do something and think, Who is at the controls? Like some mad pilot has locked you out of the cockpit? I definitely do. I feel a kind of vertigo that makes me shake afterwards. I guess we all feel it when making a difficult-seeming choice, and sometimes you seriously don't know what you want because you don't know who you're supposed to be, or who you want to be. Physics, my first and second families, my philosophy degree, had all failed to help me answer that question. The former has led me to wonder whether I am one of an infinite number of Alices in multiple universes. A quantum fuck-up, which is someone who fucks up in every one of those universes but in different ways.

These masked men were going to bring me to a cleaner place, where things were more sharply distinguished from one another and where I would finally have the space to figure out who I was without other people nudging me all the time into shapes they thought I should have.

Life isn't always about finding yourself. More often than not, it's about discovering who God created you to be.

Lack of culture equals to parallel lives, however through art, oneness, sanity and sense of belonging is restored.

Explore Art without a campus, it is fulfilling in the unknown.

I am a world of uncertainties disguised as a girl.

When God takes out the trash, don't go digging back through it. Trust Him.

Unlike many other journeys, when it comes to finding self and matters of the heart you'll swiftly find yourself lost if you follow someone else's

Sooner or later our souls find their centre of gravity in a hot, salt-tasting kiss and a trembling touch. Trembling is a good sign: it means you're open to a world that knows you're coming.

...some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not.

You will find what you seek.

It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.

I think sometimes we spend so much time trying to find out who we are we lose sight of who we want to be

She lived a good deal by herself, to herself, working, passing on from day to day, and always thinking, trying to lay hold on life, to grasp it in her own understanding. Her active living was suspended, but underneath, in the darkness, something was coming to pass. If only she could break through the last integuments!