counseling

The individual psychotherapy patient comes to the therapist with an almost automatic deference, a sense of dependence and compliance. The role pattern is old and established: the dependent child seeking guidance from a parent figure. There is no such traditional image for the family, no established pattern in which an entire family submits to the guidance of an individual. And the family structure is simply too powerful and too crucial for the members to go trustingly into an experience that threatens to change the entire matrix of their relationships. If the family therapist is to acquire that initial "authority figure" or "parent" role that is so necessary if therapy is to be more powerful than an ordinary social experience, he has to earn it.

Family therapists view the therapeutic relationship as a means to an end rather than as an end in itself. Family therapists see beyond the problematic patterns in the family to the potential healing power of family relationships.

An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love and beauty.

One last __appy_ thought: Your marriage will end either in death or divorce. (Think about it!) So well before the __ do___ (and the eventual tears), why not give both of yourselves a chance for a marriage that can be the best it can be?

The bond of love must be kept strong.

The one trying to have the last word is rarely walking in the Word.

We do not have to have the correct answers to listen well. In fact, often the correct answers are a hindrance to listening well, for we become more anxious to give the correct answer than to hear.

Good_ Bad? I__ not here to judge where you__e at or where you__e been. I__ simply here to encourage you in where you would like to go. You have the map; I__l shine the light on it so you can better read it. And eventually, the sun will rise again in your life and you__l no longer need my light to assist you.

Discovering an inner history requires listening _ and often not to the first story told.

Jefferson determined the lodestar that lay hidden in the motivations of others

Real comfort is found when I understand that I am held in the hollow of the hand of the One who created and rules all things. The most valuable thing in my life is God's love, a love that no one can take away. When my identity is rooted in him, the storms of trouble will not blow me away. This is the comfort we offer people. We don't comfort them by saying things will work out. They may not. The people around them may change, but they may not. The Bible tells us again and again that everything around us is in the process of being taken away. God and his love are all that remain as cultures and kingdoms rise and fall. Comfort is found by sinking our roots into the unseen reality of God's ever-faithful love.

All change comes from deepening your understanding of the salvation of Christ and living out the changes that understanding creates in your heart.

All children should be taught to unconditionally accept, approve, admire, appreciate, forgive, trust, and ultimately, love their own person.

Use fear as a counselor not a captor.

Perfectionists are not all negative, miserable, unhappy and over controlling individuals

Life is a purposeful action.

There__ nothing wrong with victims of any kind of abuse; they are perfectly normal. It is the ones that abuse others, who are not normal. It is they who have twisted minds and need to be corrected or counselled. Unfortunately people look down upon the abused victims as if they__e done something wrong and make them feel ashamed as well as guilty- which is not fair and absolutely incorrect. Victims must be shown kindness, encouraged and rehabilitated at the earliest and those who abused them must be ostracized. If you have been the victim of any kind of abuse, take down those walls of guilt, don__ hide behind dark doors, face the light and take charge of your life. Seek support- if required. You must understand that you have done nothing wrong and must not feel guilty or have low self esteem of yourself; it is the one who has abused you who should be running for cover. All you need at this point of time is love, self love and lots of self confidence. Believe in yourself and have faith in your ability to bounce back.

If you possess the character that you have in your daily lives, nobody can't forcefully change your personality unless you embrace their influence.