autumn

Mary had become anxious in her old age, and she hated being away from the house for long. She'd hold the girls' hands tightly and calm herself by telling them what she would make for first frost that year- pork tenderloins with nasturtiums, dill potatoes, pumpkin bread, chicory coffee. And the cupcakes, of course, with all different frostings, because what was first frost without frosting? Claire had loved it all, but Sydney had only listened when their grandmother talked of frosting. Caramel, rosewater-pistachio, chocolate almond.

Bay remembered the Waverley house full of pumpkin pie scents in the fall. There had been mountains of maple cakes with violets hidden inside, lakes of butternut soups with chrysanthemum petals floating on top.

October air, complete with dancing leaves and sighing winds greeted him as he stepped from the bus onto the dusty highway. Coolness embraced. The scent of burning wood hung crisp in the air from somewhere far in the distance. His backpack dropped in a flutter of dust. He surveyed dying cornfields from the gas station bus stop. Seeing this place, for the first time in over twenty years, brought back a flood of memories, long buried and forgotten.

Even though I knew this might end in heartbreak, that he might make my life scary and complicated and unpredictable, I knew I couldn't let him walk away. Because I knew he'd also make my life happy and comforting and full.

Stay I whisper to him. Stay in the car. Stay in this moment. But of course he never does.

No sun__o moon! No morn__o noon__o dawn_ No sky__o earthly view_ No distance looking blue__o road__o street__o "t'other side the way"_ No end to any Row_ No indications where the Crescents go_ No top to any steeple__o recognitions of familiar people_ No courtesies for showing 'em_ No knowing 'em!No traveling at all__o locomotion,No inkling of the way__o notion_ "No go"__y land or ocean_ No mail__o post_ No news from any foreign coast__o park__o ring__o afternoon gentility_ No company__o nobility__o warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease, No comfortable feel in any member__o shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds, November!

WINTER'S GHOST:Autumn moonincautious in the dark riverWinter__ ghost walkswith a covered faceand silver bones wait in all animalsto be bone cloth upon her shoulderwait for her happiness in that they are silver