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afraid

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They want us to be afraid. They want us to be afraid of leaving our homes. They want us to barricade our doors and hide our children. Their aim is to make us fear life itself! They want us to hate. They want us to hate 'the other'. They want us to practice aggression and perfect antagonism. Their aim is to divide us all! They want us to be inhuman. They want us to throw out our kindness. They want us to bury our love and burn our hope. Their aim is to take all our light! They think their bricked walls will separate us. They think their damned bombs will defeat us. They are so ignorant they don__ understand that my soul and your soul are old friends. They are so ignorant they don__ understand that when they cut you I bleed. They are so ignorant they don__ understand that we will never be afraid, we will never hate and we will never be silent for life is ours!

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When I saw you in the hall with Darian,_ he says at last, __ felt more angry than I__e felt in a long time. I was angry and . . . and afraid, that you wanted to be there, that you wanted him touching you. In that one look, I felt more than I__e ever felt with Caspida. Zahra, I think you__e right__ove isn__ a choice. If I could choose to love Caspida, maybe this would all be going differently, but I don__ think that__ possible. Not anymore.__ll the smoke inside me sinks as I stare at him. __hat are you saying?__e turns and meets my gaze squarely. As much I want to, I find it impossible to look away. The intensity of his copper gaze holds me entranced.__ think you know,_ he says softly. __r am I the only one who feels it?

JK
Jessica Khoury

The Forbidden Wish

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I did answer. I said a little. I'm afraid of what you can do. I mean, I feel safe with you, though. I know you__ never hurt me._ I take her face in my hands. It__ too familiar, too affectionate, too soon. I can__ help it, though. __ust the opposite. I will protect you. From others and from yourself. Always._ __hy?_ Barely audible. __ecause I want to. Because_ I struggle to find the right words. __ecause you deserve it, and you need it._ __o, I don__.

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All of us - all who knew her - felt so wholesome after we cleaned ourselves on her. We were so beautiful when we stood astride her ugliness. Her simplicity decorated us, her guilt sanctified us, her pain made us glow with health, her awkwardness made us think we had a sense of humor. Her inarticulateness made us believe we were eloquent. Her poverty kept us generous. Even her waking dreams we used - to silence our own nightmares. And she let us, and thereby deserved our contempt. We honed our egos on her, padded our characters with her frailty, and yawned in the fantasy of our strength. And fantasy it was, for we were not strong, only aggressive; we were not free, merely licensed; we were not compassionate, we were polite; not good, but well behaved. We courted death in order to call ourselves brave and hid like thieves from life. We substituted good grammar for intellect; we switched habits to simulate maturity; we rearranged lies and called it truth, seeing in the new pattern of an old idea the Revelation and the Word.