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A marriage which does not constantly crucify its own selfishness and self-sufficiency, which does not __ie to itself_ that it may point beyond itself, is not a Christian marriage. The real sin of marriage today is not adultery or lack of __djustment_ or __ental cruelty._ It is the idolization of the family itself, the refusal to understand marriage as directed toward the Kingdom of God. This is expressed in the sentiment that one would __o anything_ for his family, even steal. The family has here ceased to be for the glory of God; it has ceased to be a sacramental entrance into his presence. It is not the lack of respect for the family, it is the idolization of the family that breaks the modern family so easily, making divorce its almost natural shadow. It is the identification of marriage with happiness and the refusal to accept the cross in it. In a Christian marriage, in fact, three are married; and the united loyalty of the two toward the third, who is God, keeps the two in an active unity with each other as well as with God. Yet it is the presence of God which is the death of the marriage as something only __atural._ It is the cross of Christ that brings the self-sufficiency of nature to its end. But __y the cross, joy entered the whole world._ Its presence is thus the real joy of marriage. It is the joyful certitude that the marriage vow, in the perspective of the eternal Kingdom, is not taken __ntil death parts,_ but until death unites us completely.
Alexander Schmemann For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy
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A marriage which does not constantly crucify its own selfishness and self-sufficiency, which does not __ie to itself_ that it may point beyond itself, is not a Christian marriage. The real sin of marriage today is not adultery or lack of __djustment_ or __ental cruelty._ It is the idolization of the family itself, the refusal to understand marriage as directed toward the Kingdom of God. This is expressed in the sentiment that one would __o anything_ for his family, even steal. The family has here ceased to be for the glory of God; it has ceased to be a sacramental entrance into his presence. It is not the lack of respect for the family, it is the idolization of the family that breaks the modern family so easily, making divorce its almost natural shadow. It is the identification of marriage with happiness and the refusal to accept the cross in it. In a Christian marriage, in fact, three are married; and the united loyalty of the two toward the third, who is God, keeps the two in an active unity with each other as well as with God. Yet it is the presence of God which is the death of the marriage as something only __atural._ It is the cross of Christ that brings the self-sufficiency of nature to its end. But __y the cross, joy entered the whole world._ Its presence is thus the real joy of marriage. It is the joyful certitude that the marriage vow, in the perspective of the eternal Kingdom, is not taken __ntil death parts,_ but until death unites us completely.
AS
Alexander Schmemann

For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy

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