That same moment he ordered the hateful portrait taken out. But that did not calm his inner agitation: all his feelings and all his being were shaken to their depths, and he came to know that terrible torment which, by way of a striking exception, sometimes occurs in nature, when a weak talent strains to show itself on too grand a scale and fails; that torment which gives birth to great things in a youth, but, in passing beyond the border of dream, turns into a fruitless yearning; that dreadful torment which makes a man capable of terrible evildoing.

You can let go of all that stuff you thought was real when you know it's just a game. What a relief, what a state of grace that brings.

It's funny, leaving a place, ain't it?" he said. "You never do know when you'll get back.

People, he thought, were as hungry for a sight of joy as he had always been--for a moment's relief from that gray load of suffering which seemed so inexplicable and unnecessary. He had never been able to understand why men should be unhappy.

I feel like I might start crying and that I'm going to cry pee.

Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods.