And in the echo of that gladness, horror blooms within me. In its own strange way, it's a horror as deep as any I've experienced so far. I've succeeded in taking another human hostage, in making him urinate on himself. I made a plan to torture someone, and then I carried it out, and it satisfied me to do so. As much hurt and hell as the Wolfman has caused, I don't want to be his judge and jury, his jailer and tormentor. I don't want to be that person. I want to be good. I don't want to fall into a big, black pit of darkness, because what if I can't get out?
Sitting cross-legged on her bed, I watch her take out her gear. She__ been smoking so much the room stinks of it. Over the last few weeks, I__e seen her do it so often I__e resisted the urge. It__ surreal, like I__ watching me from outside my body. My willpower is fragile at the best of times, but my resolve is always weaker in the evening.I feel a dread and a revulsion for what I__ about to do, but there__ a stronger feeling, an unutterable longing. I crack.__ive us a line,_ I say.
Thin Wire: A Mother's Journey Through Her Daughter's Heroin Addiction
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Sitting cross-legged on her bed, I watch her take out her gear. She__ been smoking so much the room stinks of it. Over the last few weeks, I__e seen her do it so often I__e resisted the urge. It__ surreal, like I__ watching me from outside my body. My willpower is fragile at the best of times, but my resolve is always weaker in the evening.I feel a dread and a revulsion for what I__ about to do, but there__ a stronger feeling, an unutterable longing. I crack.__ive us a line,_ I say.
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Emily, there are enemies everywhere. We have to be on our guard, especially for the next couple of weeks._ Theo sighed unhappily. __his is going to be the longest fortnight of my life._ __hat__ saying something,_ I joked, __iven how long you__e lived._ __xactly,_ he said, without smiling.
I could hear the chaotic laughter trailing behind me. It turned the ageless trees into a menace. They loomed around me, while hiding him. The branches tore at my skin in an effort to bind me, while weeds sought to shackle my ankles, so that I could go no further. The pain they caused was minor, when I compared it to the searing inferno at my core.
Hitting bottom is an inside job _ it's something that happens within our consciousness.
Young girls think they know what their hearts desire, what they want the most. When really, we know nothing of love, devotion and utter loyalty. Not until we break our own hearts when we learn that what we desire is nothing like what we thought it would be. ~Papercut Doll
I turn my head so that he doesn't see my smile and secretly curse him for making me feel special.