The ghosts that exert the most power in people__ lives-at least, the people I know__end to be of their own making, and consist of equal parts regret and old fears and just plain missing somebody.
I have a recurring dream in which I am 85 years old, sitting in my living room, swaying back and forth in a rocking chair, studying the newspaper. I pause, look up and think of all the adventures I could have experienced and say to myself, 'Shit, I should have done that.' That is a scene I am determined will not happen in real life.
The Last Englishman
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I have a recurring dream in which I am 85 years old, sitting in my living room, swaying back and forth in a rocking chair, studying the newspaper. I pause, look up and think of all the adventures I could have experienced and say to myself, 'Shit, I should have done that.' That is a scene I am determined will not happen in real life.
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I spent so much time thinking about regret. Regret and its accompanying conviction that there is a perfect, placid life, one's own alternate existence, pristine and simple, existing in a neighboring reality in which certain turns in the road were never set upon. And it isn't true. Any of it. I knew that. I had learned it. But it is an irresistible fantasy, if only because it implies we have some control over our fates.