Tom Walsh

Sometimes we mistake patience for weakness, but the patient person often realizes that it's much more important for another person to discover his or her own gifts and shortcomings--the patient person doesn't feel a need to "fix" other people, and sometimes will let certain things slide until the other person recognizes the problems. Patient parents often let their kids make the same mistake two or three times because they know that a lesson learned oneself is almost always preferable to a lesson given to us by an authority figure like a parent.

The world is in sore need of good listeners. And in our own lives, it__ amazing to recognize just how valuable listening can be for us. How many mistakes have you made because you didn__ listen well? Personally, I__e made many__nd I__e missed out on some wonderful opportunities because I was more interested in sharing what I had to say than I was in listening to what someone else had to say.

This need to be right has put a huge burden on me, one that I never deserved to have to carry. Part of it, I know, is cultural--in this age of information at a moment's notice, we've come to expect people to have answers--the right answers--at the drop of a hat. I feel very fortunate that over the last decade or so I've been able to leave the need to be right behind me and move on with my life with a more healthy perspective. I'm now willing not just to admit that I'm wrong, but also to stick my neck out with ideas or thoughts that may be wrong. The possibility of being wrong no longer threatens my emotional well-being; if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I learn from that.

Am I corrupted if I believe that the people who think alike are more admirable and estimable than those who think for themselves? If no one thought differently, then where would our innovations come from? How would we ever advance beyond the status quo? Corruption isn't just moral or ethical in nature--rust is a form of corruption, one that eats away at its host like a parasite, constantly making it less than it was the day before. The belief that they should hold in greater esteem those who think alike is a form of rust, something that doesn't allow our young people to grow beyond the limitations already established by those who do think alike.

Walker and Timothy sat quietly for a very long time. __hy do so many people make it so hard for anyone to help them or to love them?_ Walker asked finally. Timothy chuckled. __h, Walker__f I could explain all of humanity__ foibles, I__ be a rich man indeed, at least as far as money goes. I believe people are like that because of fear. They fear being loved because they fear that if they__e loved, they__l have to love back. And if they love back, they may get hurt. And many people aren__ ready to put their hearts on the line like that. Mostly because they don__ have anything to fall back on. It__ quite a shame, really, because they hurt themselves by trying to avoid getting hurt. But we have to be willing to die many times if we__e ever going to get on with this business of living.

Life is not about control or making things happen in the ways we think they should happen. In fact, it's rather arrogant for us to be on this planet that's been here for so long and expect to be able to control life on it. If we want to see changes, then our task is to set things in motion, not to micromanage and make them happen in the ways we think they should. If we have something that is possessing us, such as alcohol or our television sets or our cell phones, then it could be time to let it go and move on with our lives. If we're holding on to resentment and anger, we're simply raising our own stress levels and blood pressure, but we're not contributing anything positive to the situation--and it's time to let it go.