Siobhan Davis

This was never what I wanted for us, but things change. Plans change. People change. I've faced the reality of my destiny and now I need to embrace that.

Remembering the good has also resurrected the bad.

No matter how many times I've thought that the worst is behind us, something else always happens to remind me that the worst is yet to come.

Part of me can't understand how Mom could do this. But there's that other part of me that can readily relate. Because I feel a pull in two different directions too.

I remember how amazing it felt to be loved by him and how he was all I ever wanted.

Sorry has got to be the most over-used cliched get-out clause in the history of mankind. Tossed out flippantly without any real meaning or substance.

I would cry if I could, but instead I just feel my heart rip apart.

An eerie silence has descended over the house. Every few minutes, I hear a grunt and the scraping sound of a box dragging along the floor. Other than that, there__ nothing. It__ like the silence is the actual articulation of the emptiness we all feel.

Ari is beautiful beyond comparison, and she has my heart and my soul for eternity. I thought I made that abundantly clear last night, but it appears I have further work to do.

I can feel Ari__ mounting excitement the farther we walk. She__ bouncing up and down like a kangaroo on speed. I feel the bulk of the box pressing against my leg as we walk, and I contemplate all that I__e decided to tell her tonight. Lifting my head, I stare in awe at the light of a thousand stars illuminating the dark, night sky. The setting really couldn__ be any more romantic, any more perfect.

I kiss her for way too long at the door, and not for the first time, I wish that I could stay with her, to help chase those dark clouds away.

Ari looks fiercely resolute. It__ the same look she has on her face at the start of every race: Dogged determination. My heart and head enter into full-on combat mode.

Do you fancy catching a movie at the Sturbridge Theater tonight? That new Robert Pattinson movie is showing,_ I ask her, the phone cradled against my chest.__efinitely sign me up for that!_ Ari replies, chuckling as I mock scowl. Her easy laugh warms my soul. __e__e in,_ I tell Gil, arranging to meet him and his date in the diner later. __o, who is it this time?_ Ari asks, resting her chin in her hands. __nyone we know?_ Considering I can count the girls on one hand who have enjoyed more than one date with Gil, I doubt it__l be someone familiar. __ didn__ ask; guess we__l find out soon enough.___ive bucks says it__ a blonde,_ Ari quips. __hat__ one bet I__ not taking,_ I admit, twirling a lock of her hair around my finger. __il__ penchant for blondes is world-renowned.

I won__ pressure you, Ari, but I__ not opposed to subtle acts of persuasion.

Heaviness coats my brain, and I__ surprised at the turn in our conversation; we__e getting into the deep stuff. __ight now, you and me? This feels like fate, if fate can be felt.

There__ a part of me that recognizes him on a cellular level, a part that seeks his comfort and solace, that feels more than comfortable in his arms. And when he stares at me with that deep penetrating gaze of his, my body reacts in all the right, and wrong, ways.

Shunting closer, I snuggle into his chest, soaking up his fresh woodsy scent. His arms encircle me and pull me close. __ou always smell like home,_ I whisper under my breath. Smooth, soft fingers tilt my chin upward, and I__ startled when my face meets his. Tears glisten in his eyes as he looks at me adoringly. Pressing his forehead to mine, he kisses me sweetly, his lips making brisk tantalizing sweeps across my mouth.__y heart is your home,_ he whispers, his voice breathless. __t always will be.

Oh, oh. My heart starts that quivering, fluttering thing it does whenever he hints at his desire for me. Lacing his fingers through mine, he moves to close the gap between us. I know he__ only holding my hand, but it__ the manner in which his fingers curl around mine, and the way his eyes bore into me that makes it seem much more intimate.