KJ

Author

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

/kurt-vonnegut-jr-quotes-and-sayings

396 Quotes
28 Works

Author Summary

About Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on QuoteMust

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. currently has 396 indexed quotes and 28 linked works on QuoteMust. This page is the canonical destination for that author archive.

Works

Books and titles linked to this author

A Man Without a Country Armageddon in Retrospect Bagombo Snuff Box Basic Training Bluebeard Breakfast of Champions Cat's Cradle Conversations with Kurt Vonnegut Deadeye Dick Galapagos Galápagos God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater Hocus Pocus If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young Jailbird Letters Look at the Birdie: Unpublished Short Fiction Mother Night Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage Player Piano Slapstick, or Lonesome No More! Slaughterhouse-Five The Sirens of Titan Timequake Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons Welcome to the Monkey House While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction

Quotes

All quote cards for Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

"

A lot of the nonsense was the innocent result of playfulness on the part of the founding fathers of the nation of Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout. The founders were aristocrats, and they wished to show off their useless eduction, which consisted of the study of hocus-pocus from ancient times. They were bum poets as well. But some of the nonsense was evil, since it concealed great crime. For example, teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy:1492The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.Here was another piece of nonsense which children were taught: that the sea pirates eventually created a government which became a beacon of freedom of human beings everywhere else. There were pictures and statues of this supposed imaginary beacon for children to see. It was sort of ice-cream cone on fire. It looked like this:[image]Actually, the sea pirates who had the most to do with the creation of the new government owned human slaves. They used human beings for machinery, and, even after slavery was eliminated, because it was so embarrassing, they and their descendants continued to think of ordinary human beings as machines.The sea pirates were white. The people who were already on the continent when the pirates arrived were copper-colored. When slavery was introduced onto the continent, the slaves were black.Color was everything.Here is how the pirates were able to take whatever they wanted from anybody else: they had the best boats in the world, and they were meaner than anybody else, and they had gunpowder, which is a mixture of potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulphur. They touched the seemingly listless powder with fire, and it turned violently into gas. This gas blew projectiles out of metal tubes at terrific velocities. The projectiles cut through meat and bone very easily; so the pirates could wreck the wiring or the bellows or the plumbing of a stubborn human being, even when he was far, far away.The chief weapon of the sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was much too late, how heartless and greedy they were.

KJ
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Breakfast of Champions

"

Artists use frauds to make human beings seem more wonderful than they really are. Dancers show us human beings who move much more gracefully than human beings really move. Films and books and plays show us people talking much more entertainingly than people really talk, make paltry human enterprises seem important. Singers and musicians show us human beings making sounds far more lovely than human beings really make. Architects give us temples in which something marvelous is obviously going on. Actually, practically nothing is going on.

KJ
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons