Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

He was looking for programs on which he might be allowed to appear. But it was too early in the evening for programs that allowed people with peculiar opinions to speak out. It was only a little after eight o'clock, so all the shows were about silliness or murder.

Maturity,_ Bokonontells us, __s a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unlesslaughter can be said to remedy anything.

Laughs are exactly as honorable as tears. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking and striving anymore. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

I wish you'd help me look into a more interesting problem - namely, my sanity.

I wanted all thingsTo seem to make some sense,So we could all be happy, yes,Instead of tense.And I made up liesSo that they all fit nice,And I made this sad worldA par-a-dise.

Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I__e said before, bugs in amber.

Sometimes Alton Darwin would talk to me about the planet he was on before he was transported in a steel box to Athena. 'Drugs were food,' he said. 'I was in the food business. Just because people on one planet eat a certain kind of food they're hungry for, that makes them feel better after they eat it, that doesn't mean people on other planets shouldn't eat something else. On some planets I'm sure there are people who eat stones, and then feel wonderful for a little while afterwords. Then it's time to eat stones again.

Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself.

When I used to teach creative writing, I would tell the students to make their characters want something right away even if it's only a glass of water.

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

I saw the destruction of Dresden. I saw the city before and then came out of an air-raid shelter and saw it afterward, and certainly one response was laughter. God knows, that's the soul seeking some relief.

He was a black hole to anyone who might imagine that he or she was a friend of his.

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.Our government's got a war on drugs....But get this: The two most widely abused and addictive and destructive of all substances are both perfectly legal.One, of course, is ethyl alcohol. And President George W. Bush, no less, and by his own admission, was smashed, or tiddley-poo, or four sheets to the wind a good deal of time from when he was sixteen until he was forty. When he was forty-one, he says, Jesus appeared to him and made him knock off the sauce, stop gargling nose paint.Other drunks have seen pink elephants.

Pretend to be good always and even God will be fooled.

There are plenty of good reason for fighting," I said, "but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It's that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive. "It's that part of an imbecile," I said, "that punishes and vilifies and makes war.

Fear hadn__ come to him yet. Pain hadn__ come where pain would come. There was only the feeling of having done something perfect at last__he taste of a drink from a cold, pure spring.

How nice__o feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.