KJ

Author

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

/kurt-vonnegut-jr-quotes-and-sayings

396 Quotes
28 Works

Author Summary

About Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on QuoteMust

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. currently has 396 indexed quotes and 28 linked works on QuoteMust. This page is the canonical destination for that author archive.

Works

Books and titles linked to this author

A Man Without a Country Armageddon in Retrospect Bagombo Snuff Box Basic Training Bluebeard Breakfast of Champions Cat's Cradle Conversations with Kurt Vonnegut Deadeye Dick Galapagos Galápagos God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater Hocus Pocus If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young Jailbird Letters Look at the Birdie: Unpublished Short Fiction Mother Night Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage Player Piano Slapstick, or Lonesome No More! Slaughterhouse-Five The Sirens of Titan Timequake Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons Welcome to the Monkey House While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction

Quotes

All quote cards for Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

"

Here is a lesson in creative writing.First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I'm kidding.For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I'm kidding.We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

KJ
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

A Man Without a Country

"

And here, according to Trout, was the reason human beings could not reject ideas because they were bad: "Ideas on Earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter. Friends agreed with friends, in order to express friendliness. Enemies disagreed with enemies, in order to express enmity. "The ideas Earthlings held didn't matter for hundreds of thousands of years, since they couldn't do much about them anyway. Ideas might as well be badges as anything."They even had a saying about the futility of ideas: 'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.' "And then Earthlings discovered tools. Suddenly agreeing with friends could be a form of suicide or worse. But agreements went on, not for the sake of common sense or decency or self-preservation, but for friendliness."Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead. And even when they built computers to do some thinking for them, they designed them not so much for wisdom as for friendliness. So they were doomed. Homicidal beggars could ride.

KJ
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Breakfast of Champions

"

America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the American humorist Kin Hubbard, 'It ain__ no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.' It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: 'if you__e so smart, why ain__ you rich?' There will also be an American flag no larger than a child__ hand _ glued to a lollipop stick and flying from the cash register.Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue. Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say Napoleonic times. Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.

"

In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close to mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. "What is the purpose of all this?" he asked politely."Everything must have a purpose?" asked God."Certainly," said man."Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God.And He went away.

"

There are plenty of good reasons for fights," I said, "but no good reason to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It's that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive."It's that part of an imbecile," I said, "that punishes and vilifies and makes war gladly.

KJ
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Mother Night