Carl Hiaasen

To me, the newspaper business was a way to learn about life and how things worked in the real world and how people spoke. You learn all the skills - you learn to listen, you learn to take notes - everything you use later as a novelist was valuable training in the newspaper world. But I always wanted to write novels.

He paused and manufactured a chuckle.

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you.

My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.

The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train.

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me.""You don't know that.""Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.