Alfa H

I have no doubt that Taylor Swift will call one day after suffering writers block: "Alfa, I was told that you were the person to call." I gotcha girlfriend.

She knows he's not the same. He's different now. The eyes that once held too much contain nothing at all. He is colorless. Faded like sun-drenched wallpaper. The man that stands before her has no answers to her questions, and no ointment for her fears.

They beg you for transparency. Yet when you give them a peek behind the curtain shrouding your hear, they run in sheer fright.

I never needed a Man. I needed a Viking. I needed someone who wasn't afraid of my strengths, or of my needs. I chose wrong... in the past. I thought I had to find someone who could put up with my hunger for life. But I was so damn wrong. I needed a Viking. I needed someone who would admire all the things about me that tepid men were intimidated by.

... And one day it dawned on me that I had spent entirely too much time waiting on you to grow a voice box.... and the balls to use it.

He loved me, but in a lukewarm way. I needed scalding, but he loved in one temperature; tepid.

I wear the words we didn't say. My heart is clothed in them every day.

Keep yourself as busy as you can. Try and forget. But even with 7 billion other distractions... you don't forget me.

Your ability to make me feel like I was less than I was took a while to recover from. But after ripping my own self worth to shreds for so long, I realized that I wasn't less just because I was more than your inexperienced hands could handle... and that is your loss.

I hurt in places that you brought back from the dead. Now I have to lay them to rest again.

In case you didn't know... You are her. The one he let get away.

Having to explain to someone how they hurt you, always feels like an ass kicking... again.

I had never met another who loved my mind more than my body. I could feel his curiosity finger-walk through my thoughts... intentional and hard. Absorbing me. Learning me. And as he leaned in and held my hand close to his, I heard my soul sigh... in a deep grateful breath.

There are days when I want to dip my soul in memories and just soak. Then there are others where I'm praying they'll be washed away.

What is it about those unresolved endings that cause you to question every decision when you're trying to move forward?

I have waltzed with wolves and howled at the moon. But my heart will always remember the slow-dance that ended much too soon.

It may happen once or perhaps several times during your lifetime, but you'll meet a 'soulmate'. The bond will be instantaneous. They'll be a perfect fit for the empty indention your heart has for rent, and you'll almost think you 'wished' them into existence. One touch... and every pent-up emotion you have buried, will flood your aching heart. The magic is never more apparent that when you realize each of your souls are a perfect template of each other.

She's fire. But she won't burn you... she knows all too well, how it feel to live with ashes.