Is is as if life or reality itself has had it in mind all along to unravel the very design i have been trying all along to impose on it.
Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling _ I don't think it's any of that _ it's helpless ... it's absence of control _ and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that _ I have no use for it whatsoever."[Interview with CBS radio host Don Swaim, September 15, 1987.]
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Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling _ I don't think it's any of that _ it's helpless ... it's absence of control _ and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that _ I have no use for it whatsoever."[Interview with CBS radio host Don Swaim, September 15, 1987.]
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Now, however open a person manages to be, there is one possibility to which he remains as closed as ever: the possibility that when he uncovers his deepest anxieties he will find hidden inside them certain horrifying truths which his whole effort to control his life has been designed to keep repressed.
When we operate on the basis of the will to control, we are aware of only one kind of "evil": the failure of existence to conform to the plan we have for it.
What we work so hard to avoid is the shattering of our lives by horrors we know we will be helpless to control.
You stole my story and something's got to be done about it.
I have sat here at my desk, day after day, night after night, a blank sheet of paper before me, unable to lift my pen, trembling and weeping too.