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An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Charles Darwin
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An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

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Magnus threw the monkey a fig. The monkey took the fig."There," said Magnus. "Let us consider the matter settled."The monkey advanced, chewing in a menacing fashion."I rather wonder what I am doing here. I enjoy city life, you know," Magnus observed. "The glittering lights, the constant companionship, the liquid entertainment. The lack of sudden monkeys."He ignored Giuliana's advice and took a smart step back, and also threw another piece of fruit. The monkey did not take the bait this time. He coiled and rattled out a growl, and Magnus took several more steps back and into a tree.Magnus flailed on impact, was briefly grateful that nobody was watching him and expecting him to be a sophisticated warlock, and had a monkey assault launched directly to his face.He shouted, spun, and sprinted through the rain forest. He did not even think to drop the fruit. It fell one by one in a bright cascade as he ran for his life from the simian menace. He heard it in hot pursuit and fled faster, until all his fruit was gone and he ran right into Ragnor."Have a care!" Ragnor snapped.He detailed his terrible monkey adventure twice."But of course you should have retreated at once from the dominant male," Giuliana said. "Are you an idiot? You are extremely lucky he was distracted from ripping out your throat by the fruit. He thought you were trying to steal his females.""Pardon me, but we did not have the time to exchange that kind of personal information," Magnus said. "I could not have known! Moreover, I wish to assure both of you that I did not make any amorous advances on female monkeys." He paused and winked. "I didn't actually see any, so I never got the chance."Ragnor looked very regretful about all the choices that had led to his being in this place and especially in this company. Later he stooped and hissed, low enough so Giuliana could not hear and in a way that reminded Magnus horribly of his monkey nemesis: "Did you forget that you can do magic?"Magnus spared a moment to toss a disdainful look over his shoulder."I am not going to ensorcel a monkey! Honestly, Ragnor. What do you take me for?