Is is as if life or reality itself has had it in mind all along to unravel the very design i have been trying all along to impose on it.
So when you__e nervous, you count?_ __ot just when I__ nervous,_ I said. __t___ all the time. I count the seconds during pauses in conversations. I count the minutes when I__ waiting on something. Sometimes, when I__ kind of panicked or anxious, I count my heartbeats. Something about counting makes me feel like_ like I have the power. Like knowing how much time has passed or how many steps I__e taken from one place to another will somehow keep me in control of the situation.
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So when you__e nervous, you count?_ __ot just when I__ nervous,_ I said. __t___ all the time. I count the seconds during pauses in conversations. I count the minutes when I__ waiting on something. Sometimes, when I__ kind of panicked or anxious, I count my heartbeats. Something about counting makes me feel like_ like I have the power. Like knowing how much time has passed or how many steps I__e taken from one place to another will somehow keep me in control of the situation.
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Now, however open a person manages to be, there is one possibility to which he remains as closed as ever: the possibility that when he uncovers his deepest anxieties he will find hidden inside them certain horrifying truths which his whole effort to control his life has been designed to keep repressed.
When we operate on the basis of the will to control, we are aware of only one kind of "evil": the failure of existence to conform to the plan we have for it.
What we work so hard to avoid is the shattering of our lives by horrors we know we will be helpless to control.
I have heard that, with some persons, temperance _ that is, moderation _ is almost impossible; and if abstinence be an evil (which some have doubted), no one will deny that excess is a greater. Some parents have entirely prohibited their children from tasting intoxicating liquors; but a parent__ authority cannot last for ever; children are naturally prone to hanker after forbidden things; and a child, in such a case, would be likely to have a strong curiosity to taste, and try the effect of what has been so lauded and enjoyed by others, so strictly forbidden to himself _ which curiosity would generally be gratified on the first convenient opportunity; and the restraint once broken, serious consequences might ensue.
There was a time, when we were illiterate, insane and inhuman, and we needed religion to control the masses for the good or evil, but now we are in the time of the technological advancement, we are educated and we must let go off religion.