Despite the horror, we survivors were endowed with a will to survive. Or instinct. Or maybe it was faith.
Gundar, seeing Halt upright for the first time in two days, stumped up the deck to join them.'Back on your feet then?' he boomed cheerfully, with typical Skandian tact. 'By Gorlag's toenails, with all the heaving abd puking you've been doing, I thought you'd turn yourself inside out and puke yourself over the rail!'...'You do paint a pretty picture, Gundar,' Will said...'Thank you for your concern,' Halt said icily...'So, did you find Albert?' Gundar went on, unabashed. Even Halt was puzzled by this sudden apparent change of subject.'Albert?' he asked. Too late, he saw Gundar's grin widening and knew he'd stepped into a trap.'You seemed to be looking for him. You'd lean over the rail and call, 'Al-b-e-e-e-e-e-r-t!' I thought he might be some Araluen sea god.''No, I didn't find him. Maybe I could look for him in your helmet.'He reached out a hand. But Gundar had heard what happened when Skandians lent their helmets to the grim-faced Ranger while onboard ship...'No, I'm pretty sure he's not there,' he said hurriedly.
The Emperor of Nihon-Ja
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Gundar, seeing Halt upright for the first time in two days, stumped up the deck to join them.'Back on your feet then?' he boomed cheerfully, with typical Skandian tact. 'By Gorlag's toenails, with all the heaving abd puking you've been doing, I thought you'd turn yourself inside out and puke yourself over the rail!'...'You do paint a pretty picture, Gundar,' Will said...'Thank you for your concern,' Halt said icily...'So, did you find Albert?' Gundar went on, unabashed. Even Halt was puzzled by this sudden apparent change of subject.'Albert?' he asked. Too late, he saw Gundar's grin widening and knew he'd stepped into a trap.'You seemed to be looking for him. You'd lean over the rail and call, 'Al-b-e-e-e-e-e-r-t!' I thought he might be some Araluen sea god.''No, I didn't find him. Maybe I could look for him in your helmet.'He reached out a hand. But Gundar had heard what happened when Skandians lent their helmets to the grim-faced Ranger while onboard ship...'No, I'm pretty sure he's not there,' he said hurriedly.
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Huge difference between being happy at will, and chasing euphoric moments as an escape. One doesn't cost a dime, the other will tax your soul.
Strange how reluctant I was to acknowledge that control of my fate lay beyond my own conscious will. Habit of a lifetime, I suppose.
Maybe he was overwhelmed, like I am overwhelmed, by that mysterious intersection where love meets luck, where fate meets will. Because he'd been waiting for her. And there she was.
I was recalling that other world in which it had thrilled me, in a way, the surprise of thinking that I could be a person who would betray Daniel. Now I wondered if Daniel could surprise himself, could surprise me, by being such a person too. Would he let himself do such a thing? I didn__ think so. And then I wondered: Is it by will, then, that we are who we are? Do we decide, do we make ourselves, after a certain point in life?I tried to call up the moment when I had decided I could be such a person. It seemed to me I hadn__ quite got there, not really. That I was still just playing with the idea of it when the ground shifted under me. But perhaps to play with such an idea was already to be a certain kind of person.
The will is the grace to win the battle of life.