Horror immobolizes us because it is made of contradictory feelings: fear and seduction, repulsion and attraction. Horror is a fascination...Horror is immobility, the great yawn of empty space, the womb and the hole in the earth, the universal Mother and the great garbage heap...With horror we cannot have recourse to flight or combat, there remains only Adoration or Exorcism.
Whenever anyone has asked me if wrestling is __orth it,_ meaning is the reward worth the pain, worth the travel, worth the being away from your family, I__e always answered yes. And it always felt like it was. But I naïvely assumed that when I was done wrestling, I could always go home and make up for all the time I__e missed with my family and friends. Now, going home isn__ the same, and there is nothing I can do to make up for all the time I__e spent away from my father. Instead of being proud of my accomplishments, all I feel is regret about not being there for the most important people in my life, the people who have loved me in a way that had nothing to do with wrestling. If you were to ask me today if all the reward was worth the sacrifices, I would say no. Yet I keep on because I__ not quite sure what else to do with myself and because stopping now won__ give me any more time with my father.
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Whenever anyone has asked me if wrestling is __orth it,_ meaning is the reward worth the pain, worth the travel, worth the being away from your family, I__e always answered yes. And it always felt like it was. But I naïvely assumed that when I was done wrestling, I could always go home and make up for all the time I__e missed with my family and friends. Now, going home isn__ the same, and there is nothing I can do to make up for all the time I__e spent away from my father. Instead of being proud of my accomplishments, all I feel is regret about not being there for the most important people in my life, the people who have loved me in a way that had nothing to do with wrestling. If you were to ask me today if all the reward was worth the sacrifices, I would say no. Yet I keep on because I__ not quite sure what else to do with myself and because stopping now won__ give me any more time with my father.
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